Looking back on my experience juggling a full-time coding bootcamp and a full-time family, there are things that I did well, and things I would definitely try to do better, if given the chance to relive the experience.
The Good:
- I did a great job prepping my husband for the experience, explaining in detail how absent I would need to be, and what that would mean for him. I think it helped him (mostly) keep his sanity, and when all else failed, gave me an “I told you so” get-out-of-jail-free card to keep in my back pocket.
- I said goodbye to my friends, telling them that over the next 3 months, I would be available if, and only if, their life caught fire. It allowed me to devote all my limited free time to my family, without feeling guilty about lapses in friendships.
- I prepped heavily for the coursework, allowing me to start from a position of only-slightly-behind (as compared to the other students, from my own, self-critical point of view).
- I prioritized networking events, attending only the ones that seemed likely to either: a) teach me something vital, b) significantly improve my chances of getting a job, or c) help me keep my sanity. (Rails Girls was the one event that addressed all 3 goals.)
The Bad:
- I should have used “time blocking”. As ignorant as it makes me sound, I had never heard of it before attending The Iron Yard. I blame the fact that the majority of my friends belong to a fatalistic culture that does not believe in the importance and/or existence of time.
- My default answer to all requests should have been “no”, because it is much easier to change a “no” to a “yes”, than a “yes” to a “no”. —> “No, I cannot attend that event. No I cannot go to your party. No, I do not see the poop smeared on the walls, and no I will not clean it up.”
The Ugly:
- My biggest struggle was an internal one: Impostor Syndrome. I still don’t quite feel like a coder, despite the evidence on Github, and I spent an unhealthy amount of time worrying that I would fall behind in class, and no one would come back for me.
and one more….
The Beautiful:
- I made it! And now I can help others make it, too.
If you’re considering joining a coding bootcamp or learning to code on your own, I’ve been there, and I’m happy to do anything I can to help.
Rails Mama 
Wonderful and to the point article. I don’t have a family of my own, but I still struggle with managing life outside of coding. One of the two halves can overpower the other at times. For me, it results in either way too much time in front of the computer and not enjoying the things I remember enjoying, or unplugging and not wanting to touch the infernal machine. I’ve been pretty good at getting out of the rut so far, but it always looms.
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Amy: So good to hear that other people struggle with the same things.
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Amy: So good to hear that other people struggle with the same things. Sometimes I forget that I am not the computer and the computer is not me, but the benefit of kids is they don’t let you forget for long.
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I’ve been enjoying your blog! I have an interview to attend a code school this summer and I’m a single mom of two young girls. Thank you for sharing your story, as you have been!
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That’s awesome! Glad you like reading. Let me know if you start your own blog…would love to hear your story. If you have any questions about coding bootcamp, learning to code, etc. my email is reeddetorres@gmail.com.
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