Much like toy manufacturers, geek gift makers seem to think that the formula for a great Geek Chick Gift is:
Take a geeky gift made for a man and either:
a) coat it in pink plastic
b) paint it pastel pink
c) produce it in women’s sizes
d) replace the word “Man” with “Girl” (:%s/man/girl/g)
e) any combination of the above
–> Sit back and watch all the nerdy ladies swoon.
Ummm….no. Thank you for playing.
For those of you who cannot immediately understand the idiocy of this marketing strategy, lets try to reverse it:
Honey, I bought you:
An Enormous Blue Purse!
A Bra that will fit your hairy man-chest!
A “Man Power!” T-Shirt! (:%s/girl/man/g)
–> “I know! I know! Those are tears of joy.”
My original thought was “I’ll comb through the internet and make a list of cool Geek Girl and Geek Mom gifts!” But then, I couldn’t really find any.
So, here’s my “Wish-They-Made” List:
1) A Sphero that would seek out raised voices and echo in a creepy Robot-Mom voice: “Stop fighting. Do not touch your sister. Give that back to him. Do not make me get your father.”
2) A sleek, black leather laptop case that looks more like a fashionable purse than a man’s briefcase and/or an F-ING PINK MONSTROSITY.
3) A chemistry kit where you add 2 drops of the blue liquid to four drops of the red liquid and BAM! out comes a fully-cooked dinner for 4, a butler, a maid and a marching band.
I should mention that, while I don’t like the idea of coating every female gift idea in pink, I am not at all opposed to coating those same gifts in chocolate. Please forgive me for reinforcing that particular stereotype. I could not resist. It was just so tasty.