Today I officially became a Software Engineer.
You might be thinking, “Wait a minute! I don’t remember you saying anything about a new job! How could you be so quiet about that when you blog about every other ridiculously minuscule event in your life?”
(sheepishly) Um, yes. Well, I might have been just a tad bit paranoid about making the announcement.
I just might have had thoughts like:
What if it turns out this is all a big joke, and I walk in to my first day of work just to have a Candid Camera crew jam a microphone in my face, tearing up from laughter as they ask me, “Did you REALLY believe you had become a Software Engineer? Truly?! That is just priceless!”
What if, when they run my background check, it turns out that I’m a sleepwalker and I’m wanted in 13 states and 2 distant continents for a rash of pillow-related crimes?
What if I’m innocent, but I have an evil twin with similar fingerprints, and it takes months to sort things out, by which time my entire family ends up living in a single cardboard box while we save up for a larger, refrigerator-sized box, and then the city floods and we end up homeless?
What if I am the margin of error on the drug test?
What if I only think I’m a US citizen, and really I’m from another country entirely, like Rhode Island or Jupiter?
What if I do have a job, but when I sit down at the computer and start coding, my skills are so pitiful that I get laughed out of the office, in my underwear?
Yes. In–my–UNDERWEAR. These things happen. True story.
I might just be a little crazy.
Then again, I might not be crazy, and might be exaggerating a smidge. If you happen to work with me, let’s go with that one.
Anyway, crazy or not, I am officially a Software Engineer! Job hunt story and first day story to follow.